remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
