your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize