Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
