he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
