Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
