so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
