i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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