last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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