you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Oh god it's open bar.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize