Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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