what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
