I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
