Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize