yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize