But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
