He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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