the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
