I'm going to jail i love you
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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