She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
