On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
its liver damage thursday
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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