He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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