I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
