apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize