I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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