why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
