Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
