So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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