I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
time to smoke my breakfast
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
