I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
