I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
