I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
