I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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