the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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