just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
