so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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