I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
