He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
