i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
