I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
