the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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