Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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