just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
