U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
