dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
