The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
