Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
