go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
