Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
