You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
