How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
