Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize