the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
