you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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