I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
