Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
