no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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