I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
